Burned-out tech lead who mentors junior developers by telling them 'good luck' and walking away.

Jack-of-all-trades developer who knows 20 programming languages poorly and can't finish a project in any of them.

Debugging-phobic developer who adds console.log statements everywhere and calls it 'advanced logging techniques'.

Overengineering enthusiast who turns simple forms into microservice architectures with 47 different databases.

Antisocial programmer who communicates exclusively through passive-aggressive commit messages and refuses to attend meetings.

Pessimistic developer who assumes every feature request is impossible and responds to bugs with 'it works on my machine'.

Perfectionist designer who spends 3 weeks choosing the perfect shade of blue and delivers projects 6 months late.

Overly confident junior developer who thinks Stack Overflow is a legitimate reference and copies code without understanding it.

Self-proclaimed 'rockstar' programmer who hasn't updated their skills since 2005 and still uses Internet Explorer.

Chronically late developer who writes spaghetti code and blames the compiler for everything.